It is very difficult to describe the beauty of being with Our Lady, to describe how much Our Mother Loves us. Once, She said, “My Dear children, if you knew how much I Love you, you would weep with joy. “ She Loves us immensely. She adores us. I’m sure you are asking yourselves what Our Lady looks like. She wears a gray dress, white veil. She has blue eyes, rosy cheeks. Her hair is black. She floats on a cloud and wears a Crown of Stars. On Christmas Day, on Easter, on the Anniversary of the Apparition, on Her Birthday, Our Lady Appears in what appears to be the color of gold. It is impossible for me to describe how Beautiful She is. Every time we have met with Our Lady, we are always astonished by Her Beauty. Once we asked Her, “Mother, why are You so Beautiful?” She said, “My dear children, I am so beautiful because I Love. And you, My dear children, Love and you will be beautiful too.”
We have gathered here this evening, we have come here to Holy Mass. Holy Mass, that is the center of our lives. Once at the Apparition, Our Lady said to us, “My dear children, if tomorrow you have to decide whether to come to me, to meet Me or to come to Holy Mass, do not come to Me. Go to Mass.” To go to Holy Mass is to meet Jesus, Who gives Himself to us, to surrender to Him, to open ourselves to Him, to receive Him. Mass has to be the center of our lives. We have come here to Our Mother. We have come to Her to ask Her to intercede for each one of us. We have come to Her to surrender our families to Her, to surrender our children to Her, to surrender our needs, our wishes. We have come to tell Her, “Mother, Pray for us. Intercede with Your Son for every one of us.” Yes, Our Mother Prays for us. She intercedes with Her Son for us. She is with us at all times. Now we must respond to some questions, “ How much are we with Her? How much are we with Jesus? How much are we with Him in prayer, with our family in prayer?” Everyone has to respond to these questions.
I know that some of you have been to Medjugorje. Maybe you have seen videotapes about it. Some of you may have heard from your friends. How many of you have been to Medjugorje? For those that are hearing about it for the first time, I would like to describe for you the very beginning of the Apparitions, how it was that they began, how it happened in 1981.
In 1981, I was a child. I was 16 years old. When I was a child, I was very shy, very quiet. I did not talk to people a lot. I was very attached to my family. When I went to school, I always used to go to school alone. I enjoyed my solitude. In those days, in the 1980’s, it was a time of communist regime in my country. There was no freedom, no freedom of speech, no freedom of Faith. Our life was not easy at all. I was the oldest child in my family. As the oldest child, I always had to be the first one. I had to get up very early in the morning at 5 o’clock. I would go to work on a farm with my parents. I worked in tobacco and in the vineyard, usually from 5 o’clock in the morning until 11 o’clock in the morning. Then I would come home and have to go to school. That was my life at the time. Every day was like that. But then again, everyday while working so hard, I kept asking my parents when a holiday or a Feast Day was going to come so that I could rest for a while or to go to play soccer with my friends. Then the day came.
It was June 24, 1981; it was a Wednesday, Saint John The Baptist Feast day. That morning, just like any other holiday, our parents would let us sleep longer than usual, but not that long to miss Holy Mass. I can still remember, as a child, I always liked to sleep longer. But that morning, my parents came to my bedroom five or six times telling me that I had to get up, that I had to get ready, that we were already late to Mass. You know how parents are; it’s not that I had any choice. I got up. I woke my 2 younger brothers up and we went to the church with our parents. We went to the 11 o’clock Mass that morning. I remember, I was there with my body but I’m not that sure that I was there with my heart and mind. I could not wait for the Mass to end. When I came home, my mother always used to do this thing, she would ask me, “Ivan, who’s Gospel was said at the Mass today?” Since I wasn’t there mentally, of course I had no idea.
We sat at the table together and had lunch. Before we had even finished eating, some of my friends came from the village. They asked me to go and play soccer with them. That is what we used to do on Sundays or holidays. It was around 3 o’clock in the afternoon when we went to play soccer together. We went to a field that was close to my house and we played until 5 o’clock. When we all got tired, we started walking toward our homes. As we were walking, we met 3 girls. They were Ivanka, Mariana and Viska. One of them I knew well; that was Viska. We went to the same school. But the other 2 girls, I did not know that well because they did not live in Medjugorje at the time. Mariana lived in Sarajevo. Ivanka lived in Mostar. They would usually spend summers with their grandparents in Medjugorje. Some of my friends asked them where they were going and what they were doing. They said they went for a walk and to look for their parent’s sheep. I remained silent since I was so shy at the time. I did not talk to girls. When my friends ended that conversation, we continued walking toward our homes. Many of my friends went directly to the village but since my house was a little bit further away from it, a friend of mine came with me. I wanted to change my clothes and we were planning to go back to the village to his house to watch a basketball game on TV. In those days, the early 1980’s, there were probably 5 or 6 families in the village that had a TV set in their homes. A color TV was considered a luxury at the time.
We came to his place and we watched the first half of the basketball game. When it ended, I asked my friend to come to my house with me so that I could grab something to eat. The plan was to go back to his house to watch the second half of the game. I came home. I ate and then we started back toward his house. We were going to watch the second half of the basketball game. However, we never got there. To this day we haven’t seen the second half of the game. We don’t even know what the score was. Something else happened instead.
As we were walking, we heard a voice. Someone was calling us, “Ivan, Ivan, Ivan come to see Our Lady. She is on the hill.” I didn’t see anyone in front of me. I didn’t see anyone behind me. The road was very narrow. There were a lot of trees and bushes around. Since I couldn’t see anyone, I simply continued walking. As we continued to walk further and further, we were able to hear that voice louder and louder. In one moment, I turned around and I saw one of those 3 girls, Viska. She was running toward the 2 of us, barefoot, shaking with fear. She kept calling us, “Come with me, come with me, Our Lady is on the hill.”
I was 16 years old at the time. I stopped and looked at her. I had no idea what she was talking about. I turned to my friend and asked him, “What is she talking about? What lady? Don’t pay any attention to her. She must be crazy. “ But then we realized that something odd was happening to her. We realized that something peculiar was happening to her. So I told my friend to come with her. We were walking with her and looking how she was behaving. Suddenly, we did not feel comfortable at all. We started to feel fear too.
When we came to that spot, we saw the other 2 girls, Ivanka and Mariana. They were kneeling on their knees, crying. They were looking toward the hill and staring at something. When we were approaching, one of the girls, Viska, turned toward the hill and showed me her hand saying, “Take a look up there.” I looked 3 times and I saw The Beautiful Image of Our Lady. I think I looked at Her no more than 5 seconds. When I saw Her, I ran all the way home. I was running so fast, I’m sure no one would have been able to catch me. When I came home, I didn’t say anything to anyone, not even to my parents. I closed my bedroom door.
That night that was before me was filled with fear, filled with so many questions; “Is that possible?, How could that be?, Was it really Our Lady?” I did see Her but still was not sure. Believe me, when I was 16 years old I could never dream that something like that could happen, that Our Lady could actually Appear. My parents never told me about Apparitions. I never read about them. I didn’t know anything about Fatima or Lourdes. I didn’t even feel any special Devotion to Our Lady. I was a practicing Catholic. I went to Church. I prayed with my parents. I grew in Faith. I was raised in Faith. I was no better, no worse than others my age. But as I said before, that night that was before me was filled with fear. That was a night filled with expectations. What was going to happen? Do you know what I was afraid of the most that night? I was so scared thinking, “What if Our Lady comes to my bedroom, where would I hide, where would I run away?” I could not wait for that night to end. It seemed like a year long to me.
When morning finally came, my parents had already heard from the village that I was there as well. They were camping behind my bedroom door. You know how parents are, especially in those times. In the early 1980’s, during a time of communist regime, people were not allowed to talk about Apparitions. Our parents were so worried. They told us to be careful about what we were talking about and not to take those things so lightly. They told us we would go to jail. But we said to our parents what we had seen and we had said to them, “Yes, we did see Her but we still are not sure.”
On that second day, a lot of people started to gather from all around. We spent that day with them. Those people protected us from the government and the police. Around 3 o’clock in the afternoon, all those people that spent the day with us, told us, “Why don’t we go to that hill together? Maybe Our Lady left something there, a sign, so that we could all know that She was there.” Spontaneously, together with all those people, we started walking toward the hill. Before we even got to that spot, roughly 20 meters before, Our Lady was already there waiting for us. She was holding Baby Jesus in Her Arms. She was floating on a cloud. She smiled and waved with Her Hand to come closer. That is a Glorious Moment that I will never, ever forget. That Day is still with me. At that moment, I could not move, not forward, not backward. My legs did not function. But then suddenly and not with my power, we went across those rocks and bushes feeling no pain whatsoever. We were kneeling and we came closer to Her. When we were right in front of Her, we were overwhelmed. I cannot describe that excitement to you. She was holding Baby Jesus in Her Arms and with Her Right Hand, She put Her Right Hand on our heads and spoke Her First Words. “My dear children, I am with you. I am your Mother. Be not afraid of anything. I will protect you. I will help you. I will guide you.” It was impossible for us to calm down, all those emotions. But then one of the girls who seemed to be the most relaxed of us all, Viska, asked Her Who She was and what Her Name was. She replied, “I Am The Queen of Peace. I am coming my dear children, because My Son has sent Me to help you.” Then She said, “Peace, Peace, Only Peace. Let there be Peace. Let Peace Reign the world. My dear children, Peace has to Reign between man and God and among people. Dear children, this world and this mankind are in grave danger. They threaten to destroy themselves.” Those were the First Words and the First Messages that Our Lady gave the world through us. On that second day, we knew. We recognized Our Mother in Her. On that second day we started to talk to Her. So those were the first 2 days of The Apparitions. I could spend hours and hours talking to you about that. But I just wanted to describe to you, who are hearing about it for the first time so that you can imagine how it was.
I don’t want you here this evening to look at me as a perfect man or as a saint because I am not. I have been trying to be better, to be holier. That is a wish that comes from my heart. I have not converted overnight just because I see Our Lady. I know that my conversion is a process, a program for my life. It is a program for which I have to decide, in which I have to persevere, where I have to change myself every day, abandon sin and evil every day, open myself to Peace, open myself to The Holy Spirit and to be open to Grace. I have to live The Word of Christ and His Gospel and thus grow in holiness. But one single question goes through my head every single day through these 29 years. The question: “Mother, why me? Mother, weren’t there better ones than me? Mother, will I be able to accomplish everything you want me to do and how You want me to do it? Are You, Mother, happy with me?” I keep asking myself these questions every day. Once I asked Our Lady, "Mother, why me? Why did You choose me?” She smiled and said, “You know, my dear child, I am not looking for the best ones.”
29 years ago, Our Lady chose me. She chose me to be Her Instrument, an Instrument in Her Hands and in God’s Hands. For me and for my life, for my family, this is an enormous Gift and an enormous responsibility as well. I know that God has given me so much. I am also aware that He expects much from me. And remember, whoever receives a lot from God has to give back to God. If you could see Our Lady for one second, just one single second, I am sure you will not find your life in this world interesting anymore.
What is the most important for which Our Mother has been calling us? Which are Her most important Messages through which She guides us? As you probably know, through these 29 years, Our Lady has given us many Messages. I would like to talk to you about the following ones. I would say these Messages are the foundation by which Our Lady builds this world: Peace, Conversion, Return to God, To put God in the very first place in our lives, To walk toward the future with Him, Prayer with the heart, Fasting and Penance, Strong Faith, Love, Forgiveness, Eucharist, and the Message of Hope. Our Lady leads us through these Messages. In each one of the Messages, Our Lady is bringing us closer to these so that we can understand them better and live them better. When the Messages first began, as I said, our Mother introduced Herself as The Queen of Peace. Who can know better than Her, how much this tired world needs Peace, how much our tired families need Peace, and our tired youth, and our tired Church. Peace, Peace, Only Peace. Our Mother comes to us. She wants to help us. She wants to show us what is wrong, to guide us toward Peace, to guide us toward Jesus. Our Peace is only in Him. She comes to us because She wants to encourage us, She wants to comfort us, She wants to give us Her Motherly Hand. She comes to us and She brings us the medicine, a Divine Medicine for our pains. In one of Her Messages, She said, “My dear children, today , more than ever before, this world and this mankind, go through their most difficult moments, the most difficult crisis. But my dear children, the greatest crisis of all is crisis of Faith in God because you have abandoned Him. My dear children, today’s world and today’s mankind, today’s families want to walk toward the future without God. No, My dear children, this world cannot give you Peace. If you believe that it can, you will get disappointed with that peace very quickly because Peace is only through God. Therefore, open yourself to the Gift of Peace. Dear children, Prayer has disappeared from your families. Parents do not pray with their children anymore. It seems that families have no time for each other. Father has no time for mother or mother has no time for father. Parents have no time for their children. Love has simply vanished from families. There’s no fidelity in marriage anymore.”
This time, nowadays, we keep talking about recession. When we turn the TV on all we hear is the crisis of recession but nobody mentions spiritual recession. That is the plainest problem of mankind; spiritual recession. Families, society, we have to get spiritually healed. This society, this mankind cannot get better cannot be healed unless we get healed spiritually first. We all know about media and internet influence on families. That is why Our Mother has been calling us, to bring prayer back to our families. She wants every single family of ours to become a prayer group, a family where people pray together because Peace will come back through Prayer, because Love will come back with Prayer. Harmony will come back to our families. Many broken marriages will be united again with Prayer. Our Mother comes to us. She Prays with us. She wants to take us out of this darkness to guide us toward Light, toward Hope. In one of Her Messages, She says, “Dear children, if there is no Peace in Man’s heart, if man has no Peace with himself, if there is no Peace in families there can be no Peace in the world. Therefore I am asking you, not to talk about Peace but to start living Peace, not to talk about Prayer but to start living Prayer. Dear children, there are far too many words in this world. I am asking you to talk less and to do more. Dear children, if you bring Peace back, if you bring Prayer back to your families, only then can your family be spiritually healed.” As She once said, “My dear children, today’s world and today’s mankind are spiritually sick. There can be no physical healing without spiritual healing.” We have to get spiritually healed first. As I said, our Mother comes to us to bring us the medicine, the Divine Medicine, to heal our pain, to take care of our wounds with so much Love and Motherly Tenderness. She wants to raise this sinful mankind. She is our Mother Who is so worried for our salvation. Once, She said, “My dear children, I am with you, I am coming among you to help you bring Peace back. But My dear children, I need you, I need you. I can accomplish Peace, only with you. Therefore My dear children, decide for good and fight against evil, against sin.”
Our Mother speaks in a simple manner. She repeats all of the time yet never gets tired, just like me. I have spoken the same words so many times. I keep repeating them. Every day, when I see Our Lady, I see that She never gets tired to call us. And just like you mothers, how many times have you said to your children to be good, to study, to work, to obey, not to do what is not good? You have said that to your children thousands and thousands of times, right? Have you gotten tired yet? I hope not. Is there any one of you mothers who can say that she is lucky because she has had to say a certain thing to her child only once? None of you. Every mother has to repeat so that her children will not forget. That is what Our Lady does for us. She repeats so that we will not forget. Our Lady did not come among us to bring us fear, to criticize us, to talk about fear or about punishment, or about the end of the world, or about the Second Coming of Jesus. Our Mother comes to us to bring us Hope, to bring Hope to our families, to bring Hope to our Church. She says, “My dear children, if you are strong, the Church will be strong. If you are weak, the Church will be weak. You, My dear children are the Living Church. You are the lungs of the Church. Therefore, I am asking you to bring Prayer back. Let every single family become a Living Church where you Pray as a family. My dear children, there can be no Church alive without the family alive.” That is why Our Lady keeps calling us to Prayer. In a special way, She is calling us to monthly Confession, for Adoration before the Holy Cross and Sacrament, to Pray the Rosary with our family, to read the Holy Bible with our family. In one of Her Messages, She said, “My dear children, put the Bible in a very visible spot in your home and read it. Because when you read The Holy Bible, Jesus will be born again in your hearts and in your families. Forgive one another, Love one another.” Truly, one of the most important Messages for which Our Mother has been calling us the most is the Message of Prayer with the heart.
Our Lady has said the same words so many times. “Pray, Pray, Pray, My dear children.” Not to Pray with your lips only, not a mechanical Prayer, not to Pray only out of Tradition, not to Pray while staring at your watch thinking when is this going to end. We have to decide for Prayer. We have to want to pray. To Pray with the heart means to Pray with Love and out of Love, to Pray with your entire being so that our Prayer can become an encounter with Jesus, a conversation with Him, relaxation with Him. When we finish with that Prayer, we will be filled with Peace and Joy. Our Lady says, “My dear children, let Prayer be your Joy. The one who Prays will not be afraid of the future.” Our Lady’s Wish is for us to Pray 3 hours a day, not 3 hours at once, not to Pray The Rosary for 3 hours. Holy Mass is included, reading The holy Bible, family Prayer, to do good, to help others, to talk with your family. This is what Our Lady wants from us. I always remember a pilgrim who came to Medjugorje several years ago. She came to me because she must have heard from someone that Our Lady wants us to Pray 3 hours a day. She said to me, “I cannot believe Our Lady wants us to Pray 3 hours a day. How can She ask that? “ We talked for a while. I tried to explain to her but she just was not getting it. She went home and the following year, here she comes again. She comes to me and asks me again, “Does Our Lady still want us to Pray 3 hours a day?” I said to her, “No, not anymore. You are a bit late. Now She wants us to Pray 24 hours a day.” And do you know what she said to me? “Well, I’ll stick to 3 hours then.” Do you see how selfish we are sometimes when it comes to Prayer? Our Lady never asks us to do something that She knows we cannot accomplish. Every task She has given us, She knows we can do it. She said once, “My dear children, if you want to go to the school of Prayer, then you have to know that there are no weekends in the school. You have to go to the school of Prayer every day as an individual, as a family and as a community. My dear children, if you want to pray better then you have to Pray more because to Pray more is a personal decision but to Pray better is a Grace, a Grace given to those who Pray more.” We, often times, tend to say that we have no time. We have no time for our children. We have no time to Pray. We have no time to go to Mass. We work too much. We are very busy. When we come home, we have to cook, clean, watch TV, we have to go shopping, we have to watch American Idol. We have no time, no time for our children, no time for Prayer. We keep saying that time is the problem. But Our Lady says to us, “Time is not the problem, My dear children. The problem is Love because, My dear children, when a man Loves something, when he truly cares for something, he always finds time for that. But when man doesn’t Love something, he will never find time for that.” That’s why Our Lady has been calling us to Prayer. Through all these years, it seems to me, Our Lady wants to wake us up from this spiritual dying. She wants to wake us up from this spiritual coma. She wants to make us stronger in Faith and in Prayer.
This evening, Our Lady was here. I would like to describe for you this evening’s Apparition. I will try my best to do it but remember there are no words to describe the beauty of being with Her. Every word seems to be so poor. One of my greatest challenges through all these years has been to describe to pilgrims of how it feels but I haven’t found the words beautiful enough yet. Every time when we expect Our lady, we always Pray the Rosary. As I prayed the Rosary with you this evening, as 6:40 was approaching, I felt Her closeness in my heart more and more. When I came here and went down on my knees, when I started to Pray, and when I stopped Praying, that was the very moment when Our Lady appeared. The first sign of the Apparition is Light that appears before Her. After that Light, Our Lady appears. When She comes, I don’t see anything. I don’t see anything in front of me or behind me. I feel no time, no space. I see only Her. She appeared very Joyous. She greeted us all saying, “Praised Be Jesus, My dear children.” After that, She put Her hands above us and She Prayed over all of you. She Prayed over you who are sick,too. And then, She Prayed over you, dear priest, especially. And then I recommended in a special way this school and priests and all teachers and professors. After that, I recommended all of you who are here this evening, your needs, your families and everything you have in your hearts. After that, I especially recommended you who are sick. Our Lady then said, “My dear children, today I am asking you, through this time of Grace, I am asking you to decide to Pray more, to give up something that you really care for, and to give that to Me. My dear children, Pray with your families so that The Holy Spirit can pour over your families. Pray, My dear children, Pray. Thank you My dear children for having responded to My Call.” After that, We spoke for a while. We then Prayed The Our Father and The Glory Be to the Father. After that, She left in Prayer. She left with The Sign of The Cross and said, “Go in Peace, My dear children.”
As you know, every 25th of the month, Our Lady gives a Message for the entire world. Let’s hear that Message together:
January 25th, 2010
“Dear children,
May this time be a time of personal Prayer for you so that the Seed of Faith may grow in your hearts and may grow into a joyful witness to others. I am with you and I desire to inspire you all. Grow and rejoice in the Lord Who has created you.
Thank you for having responded to My Call.”
I do hope that we are going to respond to Our Lady’s Call, that we are going to accept Her Messages and that we are going to be co-creators of a new and more beautiful world and that we, as children of God, deserve. So let this meeting, become our beginning, the beginning of our spiritual renewal. When you return to your homes, continue with that spiritual renewal with your families, with your children. This time is a time of responsibility. Therefore, let’s accept the Word of Christ responsibly. Let’s accept Our Mother’s Messages responsibly. Let’s decide for Peace. Let’s Pray for Peace. Jesus said in the Gospel so many times, “Be Not Afraid.” Our Lady has said the same Words to us so many times, “Be Not Afraid, My dear children.” Let’s decide this evening for God. Our True and Only Peace is in Him. So let it be.
Thank you.
